Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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