we made out on top of his cat.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
