I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
