FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
