at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
