soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
