Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
