Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
