if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
