Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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