Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
