You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The feeling are messing with the penis
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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