I can tuck mytits in my pants
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
