i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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