good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
