You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
