I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
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