You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
