at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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