I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize