Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
