...so i touched it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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