the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
