my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
