so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
