I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
