he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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