I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
