I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
