is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
there is puke in my bra ... again
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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