Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
