Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
