Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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