Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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