I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
