oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
did i just pee glitter
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