she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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