I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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