I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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