So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
