Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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