Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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