my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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