Yo dont text me then not text me
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize