My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
