I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
