dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
