The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
