Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
