How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
