were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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