I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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