I wanna bring you to show and tell
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
