Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize