i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
