Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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