waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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