i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
