I wanna bring you to show and tell
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize