She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
