You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
