the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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