Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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