yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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