so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
then he tried to convert me to islam
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
