Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
