I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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