He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
