Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
