Me. At least after what I've been through.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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