This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
