Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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